Do you know
that the word ‘selfie’ is already in the dictionary?
The word ‘Selfie”
has been added to Oxford Dictionaries Online. The dictionary's official
definition of selfie is: “A photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically
one taken with a Smartphone or webcam and uploaded to a social media
website."
So ano nga
ba ang point ko?
If you
happen to be one of my friends, you would probably not be surprised if I posted
random selfie photos on my Facebook and Instagram accounts on random days. You
would not be surprised if you see more of my malapad na face on my phone’s
gallery and oh, on your galleries too! But no, this is not going to be a selfie
post or an #ootd #fashion post. So continue scrolling down, my friends! Hehehe J
So ano nga
ba talaga ang point ko?
I may not
share this to my friends, but I’m really not in good shape for the past 2
months – both physically and mentally. And sometimes, spiritually. The problem
lies within myself. Gets nyo ba? It’s like I lost all my confidence and all my
positive thoughts. I became weak and fragile. And I started to lose hope. I
knew I needed a break.
Since I have
a long weekend to rest, I’ve decided to give one of my rest days to myself.
Just for myself. Call me selfish but yes, this is my own version of selfie!
I’m the dependent
type of person. I’m usually accompanied by others when I’m going out to the mall
or anywhere else. I’m really not the soloist type. That is a fact that my loved
ones knew about me. So going out solo is really a challenge for me.
Yesterday, I
went out and dated myself! I’m actually smiling while I’m typing this because I
am so proud of this accomplishment. Hahaha! Ang babaw ko talaga! So just be
patient while I’m story telling how that day went on.
I had my
nails done before I head to the mall. Upon reaching the mall, I first checked
the movie schedules. Luckily, I was just in time for the movie that I wanted to
watch. I bought fries and hurriedly went on the cinema house. I watched a love
story so I am literally surrounded by couples! Gaaaaad! The advantage of
watching movie alone is that I was able to spot the best seat easily. Never
mind the couples sitting right next to me, of course! The disadvantage of this
is that I don’t have anyone to talk / cry / laugh with. Sa sobrang selfish ko
nga, sarili ko na lang din ang kinakausap ko! Hahaha!
After the
movie, I went to a coffee shop and ordered my favorite coffee best paired with
my favorite cookie! Everything’s just so smooth! I went to the supermarket, and
then I headed home after. And that’s it!
So eto na,
ano nga ba talaga ang point ko?
I know other
people can also do it. It may be easy and shallow for some, or for some it may
be an ordinary thing. But I wanted to prove that a dependent person like me can
also do that. Giving myself a break from everybody else can be refreshing at
times. It’s fulfilling, actually. The feeling when you get to see yourself
standing during the time you needed someone to stand beside you yet you see no
one. Not even the person you’re expecting the most. That feeling when you feel
like you proved that no one has the right to leave you hanging because you can
stand on your own. Lord, I made it! Nang dahil sa solo date ko sa sarili ko!
Haha!
I just got
tired of thinking what went wrong in my life. How miserable I am, and how
unworthy I am for everything that I have now. I got tired from crying and
trying. I got tired from asking questions every night, and got no answers the
next morning. I got tired from the feeling of not loved and not trusted. I got
tired from defending myself against myself and everybody else. I just got
tired.
Proving my
worth is hard especially when you’re trying to prove it for somebody else. It’s
important that you start proving it to yourself first. Know yourself. It can
never be wrong to be needy, because I’m guilty as charged! I’m strong but I’m
needy and I also need to be needed.
This is just
a start of reviving my self-esteem! Lord, help me with this!
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